June- 14 Months!

Lorelei is learning something new every day. I absolutely love this age. I love watching her pick up every day things. It is so neat to watch. She says several words- hi, bye, toes, papa, grandma, daddy, mommy, please, thank you, Jesus. It is so funny, basically every word we challenge her to say she mimics the sound. We asked her to say "I love you" and she said it almost perfectly, just that one time. If she doesn't say the word, 90% she makes the right amount of syllables. She blows kisses and covers her mouth in her elbow when she coughs. It is amazing how quick they learn. She moos like a cow, howls like a coyote, neighs like a horse, bawks like a chicken. She says please and thank you at appropriate times, without being prompted. She is a character! She is so full of life, love, and personality. She is a cheeseball and LOVES attention. She dances all the time and even twirls herself dizzy. She sings with us, too! I sing "la, la" like how you would warming up, singing up the scale, and she says "ba" with me with a very soft voice. So sweet! Lorelei is learning to be reverent.We had a chaotic day at church a couple weeks ago and it motivated me to teach her. The first day was full of fits and cries, but by Saturday, she was sitting quietly in our laps while reading the scriptures and sitting quietly, bowing her head, and saying amen during prayers. Of course, she's not perfect. She will have a random burst of whines but quickly stops when I remind her what we are doing. I am so proud of my little girl and so extremely in love with her!!

Mommy's Thoughts:

It is difficult being a working mom. Don't get me wrong, stay at homes mom have a challenge as well! It is just hard for me to be away from my daughter. I have been working since she was 8 weeks old and I don't see an end in sight. I feel like I missed out on a lot. I have sacrificed a lot of things because I have to work. Things only a mother understands. I regret only being able to breastfeed for 3 months. I blame that on my stress and having to work. This may be one of the biggest regrets. Don't get me wrong- I love my job. The company I work for is great and I have the best boss in the world. He is so caring and willing to help. I have an odd schedule at work and he totally understands. This is the longest I have held the same job. I love my job and really am grateful for it. It is just difficult being away from Lorelei.
Do any of you have regrets?? I feel like I have a long list. I am excited to have another child and be able to try again at the newborn stage. I get so excited sometimes I start crying. I was told not to hold my child too much because they will get too used to it and you will never be able to put them down. Because I did this though, I feel that this is the reason why Lorelei became so strong and active so quickly. I want to get one of those co-sleepers, where it is a little crib type thing that attaches to my bed. Do you know what I am talking about? (haha!) I want to be able to feed my baby. Luckily, I have Paedn and he reminds me every day of everything I have done right with Lorelei. He tells me, if I have done anything different, Lorelei might not be the same as she is today.
It is amazing how much I love my daughter. I am one of those mommies that suffered from depression. People always seem to shy away from me whenever I say that. But, it is the truth and I have to realize it because it is easy to sink into again. When I was depressed I knew I loved my daughter. She was beautiful and just perfect. Now that I am not suffering anymore, my love for Lorelei multiplied. Sometimes I feel like the Grinch and my heart physically grew. I feel my love bursting from every pore. I am able to show my love better. I don't yell, I teach. I don't just lay around, I play. It is amazing the feeling of love.
**Any mothers who know or think they are suffering from depression and need someone to talk to, I am here. I will not shy away from you. I understand the pain of depression, but also the beauty of love!! Sometimes you never know you are depressed until it is over. That is how I was.

On a happier note ;-) here are some pictures from Lorelei this week!! She is getting so big and her face looks older. It is just crazy how they change over night!

Playing with cornstarch and water:

Homemade paint- flour, salt, water, and food coloring

One of her favorite thing to do now is to put socks on her feet!

Making our traditional Sunday brownies.