Lady Lorelei- 12 weeks

I decided each month I will do this little survey to keep most of my thoughts in check about Lorelei!

Age: 12 weeks, not technically three months yet though.

Size: Diapers-1 and finally fitting into 3 month clothes

Eyes: Very Blue

Hair: Turning slightly more blonde and gets fuzzy quickly. It has a slight wave to it.

Sleeping: Daytime naps are iffy, but nighttime she will sleep 6-7hours straight then wake up 3 hours later then back to sleep for another 2-3.

Eating: Mostly about every 3hours.

Milestones: Rolling over from tummy to back! She's trying to go from back to tummy but her arm gets stuck. 

She scoots a little bit and can scoot to face herself in different directions. She wants to be on the move nonstop and gets upset when she can't crawl! 

She is holding up her head much better. If she is sitting in her swing or bouncer she is always lifting her head up like she is trying to sit up.

Starting to teethe- chewing on everything!! 

Almost giggling, when she smiles really big she squeaks. I was so excited!

She slept in her crib for the first time!!

She can fuss herself back to sleep which has been very nice.

She loves to have conversations with us. Whether we are oohing at her or talking for real she always talks back. It is so much fun!

Favorite toys/activities: She loves Sherman, her giraffe, her Daddy's knuckles and just

 about anything else she can chew on. 

She LOVES to be outside- I wish it was cooler so we could do that more.

She likes the TV but would much rather watch me in the kitchen.

Loves bath time! She kicks and splashes like crazy- I am always soaking wet. She hates getting dressed afterward.

Nicknames: Lor, Ellie, Cookie, Mogli, then all the typical pet names like sweetie, baby, honey, etc

Funny moments: So many! One of the most recent ones though- I always make fun of Paedn because he freaks out when she starts filling her diaper. He always jumps and moves his hand out from underneath her like he forgets there is a diaper there. Well, I was holding her and she started filling her pants and I didn't move and she pooped everywhere!! I called Paedn while  he was at work and couldn't stop laughing. Karma my friend.  

Looking forward to: Giggles! More rolling over. Her being able to sit up by herself. Her reaching for me. 

This past month she has gotten so long and is starting to fill out more. She is still our skinny minnie though! She is an adorable little girl with such a sweet personality. She loves her daddy and gets so excited when he comes home. She will just sit on his lap, grab his thumb to chew on and watches TV. She has long eyelashes. We get told more often that she looks like Paedn. I have had a few tell me that she looks like me though. She hasn't found her thumb yet to suck on but shoves her whole fist in her mouth and gnaws on that. She has finally started taking a pacifier a little more consistently.

Fourth of July! Always playing with her tongue.

We call her Mogli because she looks like she is chilling up in a tree like in the Jungle Book.

Phone pictures so they are poor quality! 

I thought I was funny and wrapped her head up in a towel.

The first outfit she grew out of! Always make sure the back up outfit in the diaper bag actually fits her!

Three Peas in a Pod

Little Lady

Lorelei is doing beautifully. She is such a sweet baby. Even in the hospital she was never much of a crier. It was funny at the hospital because the rooms on either side of us had babies who were screamers and our sweet little lady was fast asleep.Lorelei has only had one day where she just would not go to sleep. She cried for nine hours straight. Other than that, she only cries when she's tired, hungry, needs to be changed, or her ever dreadful gas pains! I feel like a good mommy because I can tell each one of those cries apart. I don't even consider most of it crying, it's more her just communicating. She was definitely supposed to be the first baby. If I had a baby who cried all the time I would pull my hair out and not want anymore kids. She is teaching me patience in a nice and slow manner. I am very thankful. She is getting stronger every day. Since she was only a few days old she wanted to hold her head up and she did so in the hospital. She is now having longer stretches before getting tired. Some days she loves tummy time, some days not so much. I think she doesn't like it because she wants to be mobile. She lays on her tummy and kicks and kicks and wiggles, trying to inch herself forward. She is slowly starting to move. Paedn or I would put our hands on her feet so she has something she could push off of and she would lunge forward. She has also started to push up onto her forearms or up on her hands. One time she got up on her tippy toes, she thought that was pretty interesting. Lorelei is starting to smile more and more while she's awake. She has laughed in her sleep several times but we have not heard a full giggle while she's awake. Lorelei loves her daddy. When he gets home from work he comes over to hold her she just stares at him with big ole eyes and then soon breaks out into a smile. It is so special and Paedn just adores it! Paedn says, "Man, that smile is going to get her anything she wants with me!" I can't help but watch those two interact. They are going to have a special bond, just like me and my daddy! Now that I am working I even get little special moments. As soon as she sees me she starts wiggling like crazy, as if she is saying, "Mom!! Mommy, Mom, Mom, Mom!!" It puts a smile on my face. I was getting a little jealous because she only thought of me as a food machine. ;-) Since the first moment I held her she knew how to eat. She has been a champ. Yet again, I am so grateful she is my first baby! She is still eating well and has taken the bottle perfectly since her first time. Lorelei is still our tiny little girl. It is fun watching her slowly put on weight and watching her face mature. Some days we wake up and look at her and say, "Whoa! You look older today." It is amazing how they honestly just change right before your eyes. She has her 2 month check up in a couple of weeks, I am nervous for those shots! But, she is good baby. She and I will just have a lazy day and cuddle up and watch Gilmore Girls.

Paedn

Paedn is doing well. Some days his mobility is down, other days it is his speech, or some days it is both. It seems that if it is not one thing it is something else. He went to a chiropractor a couple weeks ago and he did these interesting tests on him. The doctor had "essence" of things, like metals, chemicals, pesticide, etc. He would have Paedn hold out his arm and then touch the jars with his other hand. If his arm dropped, that meant his body was weak towards it. He did the same thing and the doctor touched the liver, heart, etc. We found out that he has a very strong heart and the doctor was impressed and very grateful because of everything that he has been through. The doctor said his thyroid and his pancreas are weak. Which makes since because when he had mono those are what the mono attacked. It was an interesting appointment with the chiropractor but hasn't seemed to really help anything. Paedn is going to Mayo Clinic on Monday. This is our last chance. They are supposed to be the best of the best. We are praying for answers. Even though Paedn has been so strong and so optimistic through this whole ordeal, I know he wants answers. We both do. He was back to "normal" for a few weeks after Lorelei was born but then went back again. We are just so confused. Please keep prayers in your heart for the doctors to be guided to where they can find the problem.

Hilary

I am doing well. The first couple weeks with Lorelei were stressful. I was so paranoid! I even slept with the lamp on at night because I would wake up every ten minutes to check to see if she was breathing. Anytime she would spit up I would get so worried thinking that she was going to choke, I would run to the other room to grab the blue sucky thing. As I look back now I just laugh. I would call my mother and sister multiple times a day to ask questions. Thankfully, I have a loving mother and sister so they understood. I definitely had the "baby blues" for a couple weeks. I started going for walks and switching my days up so that helped it from transforming into depression. I never went "crazy" though, as my managers so nicely told me to warn my husband about. I was a little emotional, but I was tired. What would you expect? My nerves were short! I was neither crazy or mad or happy. I was just...there. Now, I feel more like myself than I have in a long time. My personality is back, I am outgoing and talkative again. It is nice to feel that way. At my 6 week check-up I lost all the weight I was supposed to gain...now I am just left with all the extra weight I did gain. I am still losing the weight though so that makes me feel good. Every time I can fit into a pair of pants I do a little dance. I even bought a shake weight because the clearance was on clearance so it ended up being $7! Boo-yah. I actually like it and have noticed a difference. I just need to get into a work out routine. My engagement ring is back on, but not my wedding band because it is a half size smaller. It is a 3 1/2, just give me time. ;-) I am back to work and working part-time. Thankfully, the grandmothers are watching Lorelei. If not for that, I would probably not be working. The first day I dropped her off I cried all the way to work. The first day back to work was horrible anyway so being emotional about Lorelei did not help. I am not as emotional now but it is still hard leaving her. Some days I wish I didn't have to work. For now I have to though, I just keep reminding myself that. I am wanting to go back to school. I have been playing around with different careers, mostly careers I could do from home. The main one I have come up with is an occupational therapist. I actually want to do equine assisted therapy. The only Arizona school that offers a program is in Prescott. Those do require a master's degree so it is still a long way away. Other ideas are an event planner, a writer, or a dance teacher.

Labor and Delivery: Welcome Lorelei

Thursday- April 19th
I told Paedn I had a feeling I am going into labor this weekend, at the latest by Wednesday.

Friday- April 20th
I had an emergency trip to Triage. Lorelei was not responding to anything. I would feel her little leg and move it around and she did not kick back or anything. This was extremely unusual because she usually was so active. I called my doctor and they told me to go to the hospital so I could get hooked up to some monitors and checked out. That evening I also received the ultrasound my doctor told me I would get since I was measuring small. Of course, they called after my trip to the Triage to schedule the appointment. Made me a little irritated. But, at the Triage I learned that 1- I have really high blood pressure towards the end of pregnancy. 2- I was having a lot more contractions than I realized. This whole time when I felt a tightening feeling I thought it was just Lorelei stretching around in there. Nope, they were contractions! All in all Friday was a very emotional day. 

Saturday- April 21st
Timmy and Christina's Wedding!! Saturday was another emotional day. I wanted to be in Utah. I wanted to see my family and be there to celebrate with everyone. I cried quite a few times. I was so grateful that Emily had her phone hidden but on during the ceremony so I was able to hear almost all of it. Then, Christopher and Stephanie let us use their phones and they skyped me and I was able to watch all the major events plus get a glimpse of my family! It was so nice and I am so grateful I was still able to included in the some aspect. The rest of the day, I was restless. I cleaned out and vacuumed my entire car. I had been putting this off for a while but finally found the energy to just do it. I just kept thinking of how nice it will be when I don't have this big belly in my way. I grew pretty accustomed to it but I knew how easier everything will be when it was back to normal. Then, Paedn and I just enjoyed our time together. We knew the time was soon approaching that we would no longer be alone.

Sunday- April 22
I slept well to about 1AM and then I was up every hour. I finally text my mom and my sister at 3:25AM telling them I was having really bad pains but I wasn't sure if they were contractions or not. My mom called me about an hour later telling me to start timing them. They left their hotel and made their nine hour trek back home by 5AM. I woke Paedn up and told him what I was doing. He decided to get up and shower and then came out to the living room and passed out on the ground while I was timing the contractions and showered. I wrote down a few notes before the contractions started to get worse.
1- pain
2- after contraction she moves around like "ugh! what the heck!"
3- nauseous
4- prayed
5- best husband in the world! he just took the car seat out to the car
6- thought the contractions were going to be further apart at first

leaving for the hospital!

I wasn't sure if they were real contractions because they were happening in my back. It was a weird feeling!! My mom called me to check on me, I was definitely in more pain than I was a few hours earlier. As we left for the hospital I called the Hancock's to let them know what was happening. I then received a text from my daddy that he sent out to my family. It read, "Vancouver, Vancouver this is it!" Seriously made me laugh so hard. My family is kind of nerdish and I am super proud of it. =-) This is the phrase that was said when Mt. Saint Helen's erupted.
When we got to the Triage to check in they asked what we were there for and I looked at Paedn, "It's baby time!" We started laughing. They lead me back and checked my weight, I lost three pounds since my Friday visit! Woo-hoo! I then went back and got hooked up to the monitors to track Lorelei's heart rate and my contracts. They checked my cervix and I was dilated to a 4, almost 5, and was about 90% effaced. They were going to have me go walk around but my blood pressure was too high so I had to stay in bed. Then, we left Triage and got situated in our delivery room. I had to lay on my side for basically the whole time because of my blood pressure. My delivery nurse walked in and she's said, "You look so much like your mother!!" I realized my nurse was one of my mom's friends! It was so nice to have her be my nurse since my mom could not be there with me.. My nurse said she was in no hurry to have the baby delivered, she was trying to stall for my mom so hopefully they could be there! My cervix was checked again, I was dilated to 7 and 100% effaced. My contractions were getting pretty painful so I asked for the epidural. I was beyond scared, my mother and sister told me their horror stories. I tried not to cry because I was scared. Paedn was able to stay by my side and he and my nurse held my hands to comfort me. My anesthesiologist was amazing! He explained everything he was doing and was so calm about it. The epidural did not hurt nearly as bad as I thought it would. I only had one tear run down my check and only squeezed their hands once. It was a weird feeling since you could feel the medicine run all the way down your back. As the anesthesiologist explained, it just felt like a lot of pressure. I was finally able to relax. I had not been snippy at all the whole morning but having the epidural definitely put me in a better mood and I was able to interact with Mama Hancock, Danny, and Paedn, who were in the delivery room, instead of trying to breathe through my contractions. I was given the peanut ball to put in between my legs to help open my hips up and help everything progress. Pretty soon, I looked at Paedn and I said, "Umm...you need to go get a nurse now. Something is leaking..." I felt awkward since it wasn't just us in the room so I tried not to say it very loud. When the nurse came in I asked everyone but Paedn to leave. I told the nurse, "Either I just peed my pants or my water just broke." My water definitely broke. It was not what I expected...I was picturing more of a "water" type substance. I found out my actual doctor was coming to deliver me so I wouldn't have some random man doctor! I was very excited.  My nurse started setting everything up. She checked me just to make sure I was complete, I was. She told me the baby's head was right there! She asked Paedn if he wanted to feel. I just started laughing, I really thought he would say no. I looked at him, "I dare you! I double dog dare you!" We all started laughing. He put on a glove. He felt our baby's head!!! That was seriously so cool. I am so glad our nurse gave him the opportunity to do that. One of my doctor's patients was in the other room and she was complete as well. Our nurse and the nurse with the other patient were "fighting" over who got the doctor first. I made it into a competition, of course. I told my nurse to go to the other room and tell them I bet I will deliver first. While everything was still getting ready, Paedn and I were choosing Lorelei's song. This is something that Mama Hancock did for her kids. She chose a song that came out the year they were born. Example, Paedn's song is "Forever Young". Paedn and I chose Lorelei's song, "Heartbeat" by The Fray. I then requested to listen to some Billy Joel. I wanted something soothing but sassy to listen to. Right before I started pushing Paedn mentioned how surprised he was I didn't ask for Michael Jackson. WHAT WAS I THINKING?! I told him to put it on. I started pushing. In between each push I would dance and sing along with Michael. Some of the nurses joined in as well and my doctor just laughed. During one push, the song "Shake Your Body (Down to the Ground), started playing and I actually broke out in laughter during mid-push. The nurses asked if I wanted a mirror to be placed so I could "see what I was doing". I reluctantly did it and I told them exactly where to place the mirror. They were like, "Man, we like you! You aren't afraid to speak up." When I would push I would shut my eyes and the doctor would call out "Open your eyes! Look! Look! Look!" It was so awesome to see! At first I was a little apprehensive to have the mirror there, I thought it was really weird, but I am glad I ended up doing it. My nurses and doctor were so encouraging. They kept telling me how amazing I was doing. I would look at Paedn and all he could do was smile. When I saw my baby's head for the first time I yelled out, "She has hair!!" After a few minutes the song "Beat It" started playing and I said, "Ya, Beat It, Lorelei! Get out of there!" We all started laughing but before the second verse started, Lorelei was born. She was born at 3:09PM after only 30 minutes of pushing. (I looked at my nurse, WE WON! We bet the other patient! We high-fived one another.) Lorelei was placed directly on my chest and Paedn was able to cut her cord. When she was taken to get weighed and everything I couldn't help but say, "Ah! There really was a baby in there!" Paedn never left her side. He was so curious about everything that was happening. He really did so well in the delivery room! I knew he wouldn't have a problem but when the nurses told him how great he was I realized that not every guy could do what he just did. I was so proud of him. I was on a high. I couldn't stop smiling, I never really cried. My eyes were wet but I wasn't balling like I thought I was going to do.
Everything else happened so quickly. My family made it to the hospital only 40 minutes after I delivered. They were the first to come in and visit, then the Hancock's came and meet Lorelei, then Danny and Amanda. Later that evening, my grandparents were able to come visit me as well as they made their way back home to Texas. I barely held my baby the first day!
I did a lot better than I ever thought I would do. I handled the pain of back labor, of the epidural, and of recovery. I was out of bed as soon as the epidural wore off. I felt great! I wasn't as emotional as I thought I was going to be. I wasn't snippy or rude as I thought I would be. I think the worse thing I said was I asked Paedn not to talk to me while I was having a contraction but he could keep holding my hand or brushing his hand through my hair. After delivery, I looked at Paedn and smiled, "I am so proud of myself!!" I still am. I am a lot stronger than I ever knew! Thanks to the stories I heard, I was preparing for the worst. I was preparing for unbearable contractions, for the pain of the epidural, for pushing for 3-5 hours, for a 4th degree tear, none of which I ended up having! I was so grateful.

newborn

1 week old

First ever tummy time!

Updates on Lorelei and Paedn

I am two days shy of 38 weeks! Once again, it is so weird to think about having a baby. I am not as scared as I was nine months ago. I am not as crazy anxious anymore either. I feel at peace. I am excited to meet her, to see how Paedn interacts with her. It is so strange to think that yes, she could actually be joining our family tomorrow (but don't get your hopes up!) I had another doctor's appointment today. I am still dilated to 1, about 70-80% effaced, and the baby's position is -2. The doctor said I am progressing nicely for a first time mommy! My belly is measuring small so the doctor ended up ordering an ultrasound for me. She said it is most likely because the baby has dropped but she just wants to double check everything. I am waiting for that phone call to schedule it! I am kind of excited to have another one. When I had one a few weeks ago, I was too blind with emotion (and tears) to truly enjoy watching the ultrasound and seeing her up on the screen. I am grateful I get another chance to see her before she is born just to make sure she is ok. My doctor said that there is a chance that I will have the baby before I even get the ultrasound though! That is a strange thought. I am excited to finally have her here in my arms; to be able to hold the little lady who is been using my body as a fun house these past nine months. 
Lorelei is definitely growing. Paedn had a chance to feel her hiccups again. It has probably been close to a month since he has been around at the same time as she has been hiccuping, even though she would hiccup five times a day! Usually, I have to find the exact spot and place his hand there so he could feel the little bounces, but the other night, I grabbed his hand and just placed it on my tummy and he's like, "Whoa! She is getting huge. Her hiccups are everywhere." I just smiled and thought, yes, now my whole belly bounces with any sort of movement she does! I even feel her little body bouncing with each hiccup. Last night she was stretching and moving a lot and I has able to feel her little foot and leg and then her arm! You could actually grab the sides of them while she was stretching out. It is crazy. Luckily, Paedn was right by me and I showed him where to feel. This kind of freaked him out a little bit. But, I agree! It is really odd that there is a baby in there and you could actually feel her body. So, so odd!
My next appointment is next Tuesday... April 24... the day I am wanting to have Lorelei. Oh goodness! Let's hope something progresses. I really want my little girl and Grandpa to share the same birthday. 


My Little Vent
I am getting to that stage where I am like, ok..any day now... I am kind of tired of being pregnant! My body is getting more tired and grieved with aches. Not to mention the whole "pregnancy brain" memory loss is getting worse by the day as well! I look in the mirror and just want to cry because I don't feel or look like myself anymore. I am swollen; my face just looks so big. My mom said I look more like a woman now because I am not so skinny; my sister says you can't even tell I have gained weight. Either way, I don't like it. I want to be able to smile and be able to see my eyes just not little slit holes. There are so many things I miss being able to do. I miss being able to do something as simple as bending over to tie my shoes or pick something off of the floor. I miss being able to fit into my clothes and shoes; I miss wearing my high heels! I miss being able to cuddle with to Paedn. I miss exercising!! I am grateful I have been able to coach volleyball this season again but not being able to play during practice has been difficult on me. All of these things affect my confidence. I just miss being able to be myself, to feel like myself. I am sure many of you can relate. But no matter what, no matter  how depressed I feel now, I know it is worth it. I know I will be able to fix everything in a few months. It is just knowing that the end is near but not being able to see the exact day is making me antsy! I have loved being pregnant!!! I love it. I am just tired now. Can you blame me? It's been nine months! Nine months of not being able to control my weight and everything else to comes along with pregnancy. It is driving me bonkers!!


Update on Paedn
It has been about 3 1/2 weeks since Paedn's health scare. We still do not know what has happened. He finally got the MRI and EEG done but we have not heard results. I am going to be calling in the next few days to see if I can find anything out. These past 3 1/2 weeks have been the most trying but they have brought Paedn and I closer together. We are best friends. We have always been able to communicate well and to enjoy one another's company. But, I think I was taking that for granted. I was taking a lot of things for granted. A little over a month ago, I started recognizing that I felt too content with life. I talked to Paedn about this. I asked him to challenge me. I wanted him to help me study the scriptures and strengthen my testimony. I felt like I had just plateaued- I wasn't going downhill, but I wasn't increasing either and it was bothering me. After talking with Paedn, I prayed. I prayed with a heart full of gratitude for how beautiful my life was going. Paedn and I both have wonderful jobs. We had our health. We had Lorelei's health and knew she was growing well. We were happy to even be able to have a baby! Everything was just going smoothly. We were grateful. But, in my prayer I asked to be given a challenge. I prayed for a challenge that would strengthen both Paedn and I as a couple and also challenge my faith so it would be strengthened. Somethings are like a muscle, they have to be torn to be able to grown back stronger, right? I told Him that I knew we could handle it. I was ready for something to be thrown our way. I kind of chuckled at myself after saying the prayer because I thought, well, we are having a baby soon and that will be a new challenge for us to work with. But, the Lord truly hears and answers our prayers. Not even a month later, Paedn and I were thrown for a loop. The Lord threw something at us that we were not expecting, something I never really thought possible. How could Paedn, at the age of 24, have a stroke? It just does not seem possible. It just does not happen! But, it happened. I felt guilty. I felt like it was all my fault because I prayed for something to challenge us. Now, we are learning something new every single day. Our love for one another has been renewed; we no longer take for granted the comfort of having someone to come home to.  I could have lost him. That thought scares me beyond belief. Paedn is strong, he is stronger than I could ever be. He has made strides of improvement in just a short amount of time. His memory is 95% back. His speech is getting quicker by the day. Even thought he still doesn't sound like himself, he is there and is becoming more vocal. Insomnia is a big thing we are trying to figure out at the moment. If he doesn't get sleep then the memory or speech are not nearly as good as they could be. At times, it is still discouraging. I just want to be able to hear my husband's voice again. I want to hear him sing!! He tried his hardest Easter Sunday to sing the hymns. He was able to get out the last word of each verse. I cried through the whole song. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. I am so grateful for my husband and the lessons he is teaching me. I am proud I get to call him mine. I am proud that he is going to be the father that my children get to look up to.
What a beautiful life we still have!  

Let the countdown begin- Quick Update!

36 Weeks

I just had my first exam at the doctor's! I have been anxiously waiting for today. I didn't want to get my hopes up and hear that nothing is progressing, so I tried to talk it down. But, as I sat in the lobby waiting for them to call my name I couldn't help but smile to myself. When they called my name I nearly jumped out of my seat. The exam was a little... different than what I was expecting. But, all is well! The first thing the doctor said was, "Whoa! Baby's head is right there! Man, I bet you feel like you're sitting on a bowling ball." It still blows my mind that she actually felt Lorelei's head! There really is a baby in there. When the doctor first touched Lorelei's head Lorelei "jumped back" and she was kicking me in my high ribs. It was like she was saying, "what the heck was that?!" I was laughing so hard. (If you haven't noticed, there is a lot of laughter going on at my doctor's appointments.) The doctor proceeded with my exam and told me I am 70% effaced and am dilated to 1. I nearly started crying. I had the biggest smile on my face. I know this doesn't really mean anything, yet. I could be stuck at 1 cm  for any length of time. But, I am progressing!!! It is so neat!! Still aiming for April 24!! That is only two weeks away!! The doctor said everything looks perfect with Lorelei. She is measuring right on track and she is still active. We are so very excited to met her. Paedn asks almost every night if she can come now. I seriously am so lucky to have married someone who loves me and their baby so dearly.
Everything else is going well! I had my baby shower last Saturday. I really enjoyed sitting around talking to wonderful women while snacking on some yummy food. That is a great Saturday, I must say. Lorelei sure is loved by so many friends already. I cannot wait to show her off to everyone. 
Yesterday, I was completely exhausted for some reason but still had a little bit of a "nesting" fury happening. I would lay on the couch and just relax and then get really anxious and start organizing the nursery. Then, I would sit on the couch and not want to do anything and before you know it I was rearranging furniture in the nursery. This happened all day. I organized and sorted all of Lorelei's clothes- size 0 to 18 months, I put groups into their own bags and organized the closet, and then I rearranged furniture and organized where everything goes. Hopefully, we get the shelves up this week and then the nursery will be just about complete! Right now, I am still looking to buy a cradle swing for our home and then a pack n play to give to the Hancock's. I found a couple good prospects. I ordered Lorelei's stroller yesterday and it shipped out today!  We are going to install the car seat tomorrow. The only "big" thing we need to do, that has been kind of nagging in my brain, is to get a hospital bag ready.





24 DAYS UNTIL LORELEI'S DUE DATE!


 

Paedn VS Hilary: Predictions about Lorelei

Born: AM/PM:
Paedn- PM   Hilary- AM

Born with Hair:
Paedn- Yes  Hilary- Yes

Type of Hair:

Paedn- Wavy  Hilary- Curly

 

Light or Dark: 

Paedn- Ash Blonde  Hilary- Dark

Length: 

Paedn- 20 1/2 inches  Hilary- 20 inches

Weight: 

Paedn- 7lbs 6oz  Hilary- 6lbs 8oz

Date of Birth: 

Paedn- April 30th  Hilary- April 24th

Look like Mom/Dad: 

Paedn- Mom  Hilary- Dad

Sports: 

Paedn- Soccer/Softball/Dance  Hilary- Soccer/Softball/Volleyball/Dance

Eyes: 

Paedn- Blue/Green  Hilary- Blue

I took the one less traveled by....

34 Weeks- Surprise Ultrasound
I had an appointment today. Everything looked great. I asked the doctor about stress and the effects it can have on a baby. She gave me the typical spill, but I think she knew there was something deeper that was bothering me. I broke down. I told her about Paedn. I told her how I am trying my best to stay calm but it is just not working. I told her about my friend who lost her baby during delivery. I told her I am worried because Lorelei had decreased in movement. She was crying with me. She order an ultrasound and within the hour I was in the back watching my little girl. I was so relieved and so excited I had the opportunity to really check on Lorelei and know she is doing ok. She is beautiful! She is measuring right on track at 4lbs 8 oz (she said plus or minus a pound!) and measuring 15inches long. She is going to be our long, skinny little lady! Oh and yes, it is still a girl! Which is a huge relief because I had all these dreams about her really coming out as a him. I found out the reason why I am not feeling her movements a lot is because the placenta is in front of her, right against my belly. So, she is basically using this as her punching bag. Her head is down, thank goodness, and she is riding pretty low. She definitely has a sassy personality. The nurse was tapping on my stomach to make her switch positions and Lorelei just shrugged and rolled over like, "Ugh, leave me alone." The nurse was laughing and narrated the whole thing for me. I am so grateful I had the ultrasound done. I am so grateful that the doctor I met with understood my stress and knew what I needed to help ease my mind. It is now one less thing I have to worry about.


My Love
Monday morning I received a text from Paedn saying that the guys at work are telling him he is talking like he is having a stroke. An hour later I finally got to talk to him and come to find out, they were right. There was something wrong with him. When we talked, his words were very dragged out and you could tell it was a huge effort for him to try and say something. I had no idea what to do. Thankfully, he works with his dad. I told him to go talk to his dad and see if he notices anything different. After we hung up, I called my mom. No answer. I called his mom, no answer. I felt blind. I had no idea what to do. I fell to my bed and cried. I cried harder than I have ever cried before. I pleaded in prayer that Paedn would be alright. I felt frantic. It had been ten minutes and still I didn't know what to do. I called Paedn. He said his dad was in a meeting. He had no idea what time he was going to be done. I told him he needed to go find him now and talk to him. I tried to stay calm. I felt like a chicken with it's head cut off. I tried calling my mom again, no answer. I was pacing around the house. I felt sick. What should I do? What should I do! I decided I needed to drive up to work and see Paedn, check on him myself. I tried to hurry and get ready but it felt like I was moving in slow mode. Finally, his dad called me. He said there is something seriously wrong with Paedn. We had no idea where to take him. The ER? No, they are expensive. Maybe the urgent care? I hung up the phone and cried.  I kept walking through my house to the outside and I kept crying. I had no idea what to do. I tried calling my mom again, no answer. I called my dad. I tried to talk without sounding frantic. Dad told me we needed to go the the ER, he said he would meet me up there. I called Levi and told him I would meet him at the hospital. I cried all the way to the hospital. My mom finally called me. I told her where I was going and she said she would meet me up there. I finally got to the hospital. I had to park on the third level of the parking garage. I cried all the way down the stairs. I got to the front door and my sister called me. I told her what was happening. I asked her to start praying for Paedn. Levi and Paedn pulled up front of the ER. Paedn was all smiles. He gave me a hug. He kept saying, "I don't know why I am here. I am fine. The guys say I am talking funny but I don't know why they are saying that." I choked backed tears. He was scaring me but I couldn't let him see me weak. I just smiled. I said, "Yes, you are fine love. We are here just to make sure." We walked hand in hand into the ER up to the front counter. He offered me the chair but I made him sit instead. He kept rubbing my belly and smiling. He was so cute. We got him all checked in and they brought us a wheel chair. Paedn stared at it, "I am not using that." I couldn't help but laugh. Man, does he have some pride! I love it! This is where Paedn's memory is gone. The last thing he remembered was checking in. We were lead into the back where they took his blood pressure. Levi asked the nurse if we could give him a blessing but she said no, there is no time, he was already several hours into this and he could be having a stroke. My mom walked into the back and I started crying again. I followed the nurse pushing Paedn in the wheel chair and mom wrapped her arm around me. I watched as they hooked Paedn up to all sorts of monitors. They kept kept asking him- raise your arms, squeeze my hand, stick out your tongue, flex your feet. He still had some of his mobility, it was just very, very weak. When he raised his arms it was if he was trying to bench 500lbs. He was asked to sing Happy Birthday. He looked confused. He didn't know what to say. If you know Paedn, you know his love for music. He remembers every random trivia answer; he remembers all the lyrics. I sat in the corner. I cried every time Paedn looked away and smiled and winked at him every time he looked at me. There was a doctor in the back observing everything. He's like, "Honey, why are you sitting back here in the corner? Don't you want to go be with your husband?" I looked up teary eyed, "Yes, I just don't want to be in the way." He grabbed my hand and helped me stand up and lead me up to Paedn. I smiled because Paedn just looked so happy I was standing by him. I held his hand, I rubbed his cheek, I kissed his forehead. I tried to be the comfort I knew he needed. He looked up at me, "I am scared," he confessed. We both started crying. I told him everything would be fine! I asked him who his favorite band was, maybe even his favorite song. He had no idea. I just kept rubbing his face. He is so handsome. As the nurse came in to take him to the back he looked at me and said, "Dreams." "Yes!!" I cheered. "Yes, Paedn that is your favorite song." "Van Halen," he smiled, "50/51." He now remembered his favorite song, band, and the album it was on. I smiled, "Don't they have a bar named after that album?" He shook his head no, "studio," he said. I was crying. I was so happy. He made the nurses stop wheeling him out of the room. He got his mom's attention and said, "Dreams. Van Halen." I announced to the room he was so proud of himself that he remembered his favorite song that he just had to share. The nurses looked pleased and laughed. Paedn was back in good spirits. When he returned from the CAT scan, I could see his smiling face all the way down the hall. His father was now able to give him a blessing. This is where Paedn's memory picks up again. After the blessing had been said, the doctor who had been in the room observing the whole time looked up and smiled, "I know you are in good hands." He left and we never saw him again. Now, there was just a lot of waiting around. You could tell all of this was taking it's toll on Paedn. He was exhausted. All he wanted to do was eat and go to sleep. But, we had to wait. Finally, the neurologist came in. He said there was nothing "organically" wrong with Paedn. It is something that they are calling Conversion Disorder. They are saying that all of this is being brought on by stress and anxiety. When Paedn was discharged he had his memory back and was completely able to move. His speech is still gone though. He tries so hard to talk. His words are very labored he gets tired quickly. He can say "Hilary" very well, which I love to hear. "Lorelei" is a very difficult name to say though, he decided to give her the nickname of "Ellie". It is much easier for him to say. I love it. 
Now, we are just taking things step by step. We practice saying words. He found out he likes playing the harmonica because it releases this pressure in his chest. He keeps saying he will get better. He is so optimistic. I am so proud to call him my husband. He is so much stronger than I am. I cry. I cry a lot. I wish I knew what exactly was wrong; how exactly to help him. I know the Lord will never give us a greater challenge than what we can handle. There is a lesson to be learned here and it is our job to find out what it is.

Explanation of title: Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken, is my all time favorite poem. He is my all time favorite author, as well. I read the poem and imagined Paedn standing there. It's a short explanation really!