Paedn VS Hilary: Predictions about Lorelei

Born: AM/PM:
Paedn- PM   Hilary- AM

Born with Hair:
Paedn- Yes  Hilary- Yes

Type of Hair:

Paedn- Wavy  Hilary- Curly

 

Light or Dark: 

Paedn- Ash Blonde  Hilary- Dark

Length: 

Paedn- 20 1/2 inches  Hilary- 20 inches

Weight: 

Paedn- 7lbs 6oz  Hilary- 6lbs 8oz

Date of Birth: 

Paedn- April 30th  Hilary- April 24th

Look like Mom/Dad: 

Paedn- Mom  Hilary- Dad

Sports: 

Paedn- Soccer/Softball/Dance  Hilary- Soccer/Softball/Volleyball/Dance

Eyes: 

Paedn- Blue/Green  Hilary- Blue

I took the one less traveled by....

34 Weeks- Surprise Ultrasound
I had an appointment today. Everything looked great. I asked the doctor about stress and the effects it can have on a baby. She gave me the typical spill, but I think she knew there was something deeper that was bothering me. I broke down. I told her about Paedn. I told her how I am trying my best to stay calm but it is just not working. I told her about my friend who lost her baby during delivery. I told her I am worried because Lorelei had decreased in movement. She was crying with me. She order an ultrasound and within the hour I was in the back watching my little girl. I was so relieved and so excited I had the opportunity to really check on Lorelei and know she is doing ok. She is beautiful! She is measuring right on track at 4lbs 8 oz (she said plus or minus a pound!) and measuring 15inches long. She is going to be our long, skinny little lady! Oh and yes, it is still a girl! Which is a huge relief because I had all these dreams about her really coming out as a him. I found out the reason why I am not feeling her movements a lot is because the placenta is in front of her, right against my belly. So, she is basically using this as her punching bag. Her head is down, thank goodness, and she is riding pretty low. She definitely has a sassy personality. The nurse was tapping on my stomach to make her switch positions and Lorelei just shrugged and rolled over like, "Ugh, leave me alone." The nurse was laughing and narrated the whole thing for me. I am so grateful I had the ultrasound done. I am so grateful that the doctor I met with understood my stress and knew what I needed to help ease my mind. It is now one less thing I have to worry about.


My Love
Monday morning I received a text from Paedn saying that the guys at work are telling him he is talking like he is having a stroke. An hour later I finally got to talk to him and come to find out, they were right. There was something wrong with him. When we talked, his words were very dragged out and you could tell it was a huge effort for him to try and say something. I had no idea what to do. Thankfully, he works with his dad. I told him to go talk to his dad and see if he notices anything different. After we hung up, I called my mom. No answer. I called his mom, no answer. I felt blind. I had no idea what to do. I fell to my bed and cried. I cried harder than I have ever cried before. I pleaded in prayer that Paedn would be alright. I felt frantic. It had been ten minutes and still I didn't know what to do. I called Paedn. He said his dad was in a meeting. He had no idea what time he was going to be done. I told him he needed to go find him now and talk to him. I tried to stay calm. I felt like a chicken with it's head cut off. I tried calling my mom again, no answer. I was pacing around the house. I felt sick. What should I do? What should I do! I decided I needed to drive up to work and see Paedn, check on him myself. I tried to hurry and get ready but it felt like I was moving in slow mode. Finally, his dad called me. He said there is something seriously wrong with Paedn. We had no idea where to take him. The ER? No, they are expensive. Maybe the urgent care? I hung up the phone and cried.  I kept walking through my house to the outside and I kept crying. I had no idea what to do. I tried calling my mom again, no answer. I called my dad. I tried to talk without sounding frantic. Dad told me we needed to go the the ER, he said he would meet me up there. I called Levi and told him I would meet him at the hospital. I cried all the way to the hospital. My mom finally called me. I told her where I was going and she said she would meet me up there. I finally got to the hospital. I had to park on the third level of the parking garage. I cried all the way down the stairs. I got to the front door and my sister called me. I told her what was happening. I asked her to start praying for Paedn. Levi and Paedn pulled up front of the ER. Paedn was all smiles. He gave me a hug. He kept saying, "I don't know why I am here. I am fine. The guys say I am talking funny but I don't know why they are saying that." I choked backed tears. He was scaring me but I couldn't let him see me weak. I just smiled. I said, "Yes, you are fine love. We are here just to make sure." We walked hand in hand into the ER up to the front counter. He offered me the chair but I made him sit instead. He kept rubbing my belly and smiling. He was so cute. We got him all checked in and they brought us a wheel chair. Paedn stared at it, "I am not using that." I couldn't help but laugh. Man, does he have some pride! I love it! This is where Paedn's memory is gone. The last thing he remembered was checking in. We were lead into the back where they took his blood pressure. Levi asked the nurse if we could give him a blessing but she said no, there is no time, he was already several hours into this and he could be having a stroke. My mom walked into the back and I started crying again. I followed the nurse pushing Paedn in the wheel chair and mom wrapped her arm around me. I watched as they hooked Paedn up to all sorts of monitors. They kept kept asking him- raise your arms, squeeze my hand, stick out your tongue, flex your feet. He still had some of his mobility, it was just very, very weak. When he raised his arms it was if he was trying to bench 500lbs. He was asked to sing Happy Birthday. He looked confused. He didn't know what to say. If you know Paedn, you know his love for music. He remembers every random trivia answer; he remembers all the lyrics. I sat in the corner. I cried every time Paedn looked away and smiled and winked at him every time he looked at me. There was a doctor in the back observing everything. He's like, "Honey, why are you sitting back here in the corner? Don't you want to go be with your husband?" I looked up teary eyed, "Yes, I just don't want to be in the way." He grabbed my hand and helped me stand up and lead me up to Paedn. I smiled because Paedn just looked so happy I was standing by him. I held his hand, I rubbed his cheek, I kissed his forehead. I tried to be the comfort I knew he needed. He looked up at me, "I am scared," he confessed. We both started crying. I told him everything would be fine! I asked him who his favorite band was, maybe even his favorite song. He had no idea. I just kept rubbing his face. He is so handsome. As the nurse came in to take him to the back he looked at me and said, "Dreams." "Yes!!" I cheered. "Yes, Paedn that is your favorite song." "Van Halen," he smiled, "50/51." He now remembered his favorite song, band, and the album it was on. I smiled, "Don't they have a bar named after that album?" He shook his head no, "studio," he said. I was crying. I was so happy. He made the nurses stop wheeling him out of the room. He got his mom's attention and said, "Dreams. Van Halen." I announced to the room he was so proud of himself that he remembered his favorite song that he just had to share. The nurses looked pleased and laughed. Paedn was back in good spirits. When he returned from the CAT scan, I could see his smiling face all the way down the hall. His father was now able to give him a blessing. This is where Paedn's memory picks up again. After the blessing had been said, the doctor who had been in the room observing the whole time looked up and smiled, "I know you are in good hands." He left and we never saw him again. Now, there was just a lot of waiting around. You could tell all of this was taking it's toll on Paedn. He was exhausted. All he wanted to do was eat and go to sleep. But, we had to wait. Finally, the neurologist came in. He said there was nothing "organically" wrong with Paedn. It is something that they are calling Conversion Disorder. They are saying that all of this is being brought on by stress and anxiety. When Paedn was discharged he had his memory back and was completely able to move. His speech is still gone though. He tries so hard to talk. His words are very labored he gets tired quickly. He can say "Hilary" very well, which I love to hear. "Lorelei" is a very difficult name to say though, he decided to give her the nickname of "Ellie". It is much easier for him to say. I love it. 
Now, we are just taking things step by step. We practice saying words. He found out he likes playing the harmonica because it releases this pressure in his chest. He keeps saying he will get better. He is so optimistic. I am so proud to call him my husband. He is so much stronger than I am. I cry. I cry a lot. I wish I knew what exactly was wrong; how exactly to help him. I know the Lord will never give us a greater challenge than what we can handle. There is a lesson to be learned here and it is our job to find out what it is.

Explanation of title: Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken, is my all time favorite poem. He is my all time favorite author, as well. I read the poem and imagined Paedn standing there. It's a short explanation really! 

Maternity Photos by Emily Buck

After a long day of standing at a volleyball tournament, we went out to the mountains to take our maternity pictures! I love the location, it may be my favorite place to take pictures now. My sister took our pictures and she always does such a great job. She is definitely my favorite photographer.

32 Week Update

32 WEEKS

Hopefully only six weeks from today we will be holding our precious little lady!! (Yes, I am still shooting for the 24th of April!) Everything is progressing beautifully. At our appointment yesterday, a medical student did the initial check-up. It was probably the most entertaining check-up I have had. First, she measured my tummy- measuring right on track at 32 weeks. Then, it was time to check Lorelei's heartbeat. She found her position right away but she had a difficult time checking the heartbeat because Lorelei kept running away from her. It felt like she was doing head-spins. We were laughing so hard because she had to move about four different times until we could hear a good, clear heartbeat. Her heart rate was at 152. She said, "Man, she is one active little girl." I just started laughing, "You have no idea!" After she cleaned the jelly off my tummy, Lorelei decided to show off a bit more and did a flip and gave a good hard kick. So, of course, my whole belly bounced and rolled. The medical student just stared at my tummy and put her hand where Lorelei had kicked, "Whoa! I think she just kicked you. That was weird!" We just sat there laughing. The medical student was very young and you could tell she was new into the field, so I am guessing she has never experienced a very active baby yet. Made my day!
I was proud of myself at this check-up. I only gained two pounds in two weeks! (That is the expected weight gain at this point in pregnancy. I will be gaining about a pound a week until Lorelei comes.) This was such a big deal for me because the month before I gained eight pounds, that is four pounds of extra weight! Ugh. When the doctor discussed this with me I was embarrassed. I felt like the Michelin Man. It was a very difficult emotional obstacle to get over. In high school, the highest I ever weighed was 105lbs. Being close to 5'7'' this was extremely underweight. Finally, after high school was over and I wasn't so active in sports anymore, I gained some weight and weighed about 115lbs. This is still underweight for my height. So, technically, I was underweight when I became pregnant. My philosophy is that the few extra pounds I gained was actually healthy for me. But, the doctors didn't seem to care or take that into consideration. So, for the past two weeks and I have been crazy obsessed with food. I check the calorie count. I try different methods to eat less. These past two weeks have been awful. I mentally beat myself up. I've never had to experience anything like this before. I never had to worry about gaining weight. Something I noticed about my body though is that if I don't eat bad food all the time I won't have excessive weight gain. This made me very pleased and has since let me relax a bit, which is definitely needed at this point in my pregnancy. I am very much looking forward to the day when I can work out again though!! Everything else is going well. Lorelei is definitely growing and is taking up more space. My mom said my tummy has dropped and I definitely notice it. It is also starting to grow to more of a torpedo shape. I am feeling more weighed down and I am gradually slowing down. Even though I am a secretary and just sit at work, it is actually becoming uncomfortable to sit for nine hours. Then, a couple Saturdays a month I have volleyball tournaments. Those are getting pretty tough because I stand all day. Luckily, I have been doing a lot better with drinking water so I am not as swollen as I was a few weeks ago. I bought a big water jug and I make sure I finish that before I go home from work. I am quite proud of myself because drinking water has always been a challenge for me. I have been experiencing quite a few BH contractions. That is a good sign! My body is practicing for when the real moment is going to happen. Experiencing the contractions is kind of scary though. They aren't scary because I am in pain, it is because they occur often. I mentioned this to the doctor and of course she didn't seem concerned. All she told me to do is pay attention to them, if I have six contractions in an hour to go to the hospital. Whoa. Her saying that made everything seem more real.  
I am actually going to have a baby.


The nursery is coming along! My dad brought over the crib on Saturday so Paedn and I spent most of Sunday in the nursery organizing and planning. I love how involved Paedn is in the pregnancy and the prepping for our lady. He has been a great support this whole time. I think he even may be more excited for our lady to get here than I am. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to go register for baby items with me. My mom gladly tagged along though! It was a kind of disheartening experience. Target only had about two isles of baby items and Walmart didn't have a scanner to register in store. So, at lot of my registering happened online. Just kind of sad because I remember when Paedn and I went registering for our wedding and we were overwhelmed with what we needed to register for. I just assumed it would have been the same thing. I was excited to look at all the baby stuff.




At 32 weeks Lorelei is close to 4 pounds and is almost 17 inches long. She now has toenails, fingernails, and real hair! Well, hopefully she has hair! She is as big as a sack of potatoes! 
    

Belly Pictures

Pre-pregnancy

14 weeks

19 weeks

23 weeks

24 weeks

26 weeks

28 weeks

31 weeks

TWO MONTHS TO GO!

Reflections: 

I was reflecting today about how last July our lives were going in a completely different direction. Last July, we were planning on moving to Oregon right about this time. We announced it to our families and were getting prepared for that big move. We were ready for something new and big to come into our lives and we thought Oregon was our answer. A few weeks later, Paedn had to quit his job. This kind of irritated the moving plans but they were still in place. Luckily, he was able to start a new job that same week. A couple more weeks later, we went out and were looking to buy a car. (This is where I randomly fainted.) But buying a car ended up not working out. It  seemed the more we tried to progress with our life, the more we ran into a wall. This grew to become very tiresome and frustrating. Why was everything we wanted to do getting thrown back in our faces? A few short weeks later, we found out why. The "unexpected" new and big change that we were so desperately trying to have, was actually our little baby. Even seven months later, I am still surprised by this change. It is a miracle how everything works out and how everything happens for a reason. Everything we kept trying to do the Lord kept us from for the welfare of our little family. How blessed we are to have someone who knows the ultimate game plan leading us through life!     

How is the Little Family?

Can you believe I have just about two months left until this little lady makes her big debut?! We are so very excited. Every night when Paedn is talking to Lorelei he asks, "Can't you come out yet?! I want to meet you!" It is so precious. I am so blessed that I married such a sweet, hard working man. I know without a doubt that Paedn will be a great father. His relationship with his daughter is going to be priceless, it already is! I like to think that she has a personality already and knows what she is doing. For instance, she teases her daddy! She would be kicking and rolling and as soon as Paedn sets his hand on my tummy she stops. Then when he gives up and lifts his hand, she starts dancing again. I can just hear her now, giggling with delight as she makes her daddy laugh. Then, the other night while I was trying to fall asleep, Paedn was already alseep and had his hand resting on my belly, Lorelei was rolling and kicking just underneath Paedn's hand. It was so sweet. She was showing her daddy that she really does love him. 

Lorelei is definitely growing. I feel her move and kick under my ribs. The first day I noticed this was maybe about a week ago-she kicked and punched me both in my lower tummy and up in my ribs at the same time. Ha! I had no idea how to react to this. I just sat there and laughed. Sometimes, I can barely bend over because she is blocking me under my ribs. Poor girl, she is probably so smushed in there! She is also getting big enough for us to feel her hiccups! Even Paedn felt her!! He thought this was hilarious! The first time I noticed her hiccuping was at work. I was sitting in my chair, reading a book, and I kept having this "echo-y heartbeat" pulsing in my stomach. I text my mom asking her if these were hiccups-they were! Hooray! In just a matter of a week and a half, she has grown so much that now my tummy actually bounces slightly with each hiccup! (I noticed this today.)  

Woohoo! I made my jeans into maternity jeans!

I am becoming less scared about having a baby. When I was younger, I was never asked to do any babysitting for friends or anything like that. I watched my little brother but that was about it. Because of my lack of experience, I have never felt very "motherly" or comfortable around babies. I have three nieces and a nephew (whom I have yet to meet!) and I have been able to watch them grow up from a distance. When I do get to see them, I would try and play but didn't quite know how to associate with them. If they started crying, well, mom or dad were right there so they would take care of it. Two of my nieces are almost four years old and I feel more comfortable and love playing with them now compared to when they were newborns. So, because of this hesitation towards babies I was nervous about having my own.  I always knew I wanted kids but it was never at the top of my list of things to get done. My oh my, how the tables have turned!! Every day I grow more comfortable and actually excited about the idea of having a baby! I know, babies cry, poop, and just make messes; but I am actually anxious to hold my baby in my arms to comfort her, to change yet another dirty diaper, and then to finally feel happy with a clean house only to find my baby pulling books of the shelf. It is so strange how my perspective can change so rapidly. This precious little lady is going to be mine. I am responsible to teach her how to talk and how to walk. I am responsible for teaching her to be a lady. As scary as it sounds, I am responsible for teaching her everything! Wow.   

My pregnancy has seemed to dial down to slow mode. I have really enjoyed being pregnant, except the whole first trimester sickness deal. Other than that, I have loved it. I get to have this special bond with my child; I get to know her before anyone else does. But, I am starting to feel the weight of pregnancy bare down, ha-literally. She is growing and it is starting to weigh me down. I feel heavy, though, some days I feel bigger than others. I am growing more tired and uncomfortable and dare I may say, irritable. I am waking up more at night either to go to the restroom or just because my body hurts so much I wake up. The couch is no longer helping. Right now, I wish I had a good recliner to relax in. I think that would help. (Put that on my "To Get Before Next Pregnancy" list.)

On Sunday, we went to church and I saw people I have not seen in a long time. As soon as I walked into the building, I had friends smiling and some actually laughing when they saw me. They were like, "I have never seen you much bigger than a twig!" So apparently, there is no mistaking that I am pregnant. Finally! Only took til the third trimester!    

Nursery Update:

Her nursery is slowly, but surely, making progress. We are using my old crib and hopefully that will be set up in her nursery in within a few weeks! We found some bedding we may want to get for her-pink Pooh Bear! This was Paedn's idea when we saw it and I could not say no! (Pooh Bear was my favorite when I was little.) Lorelei already has four stuffed animal Pooh Bears, an Eeyore, and a Tigger! 

One of the flowers I made!

I still have several things I want to make for the nursery. I plan on making a changing pad cover, we need to build shelves, and I may want to eventually make a cover for the glider we have. My sister came over on Monday and taught me how to make some cute bows and flowers for headbands. We would make them and then grab her girls to model them for us. I cannot tell you how excited this made me that I am having a little girl! 

Lorelei's "Stats":

Today I had a doctor's appointment. Lorelei is now 30weeks and 5 days. Everything is looking great! I am no longer measuring big (just feeling big!). For this I am grateful because that means they are not worried about me having a big baby! But, I am  also a little sad...I really wanted that extra ultrasound!

I really like this picture I found from babyzone.com of the baby at 30 weeks! Look how big she is getting!!

Lorelei is now approximately 15.7 inches long and weighs just about 3 pounds. She is about the size of a large cabbage.

Hello, Third Trimester!!

28 WEEKS..or am I


Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment. Ha, in two weeks I gained FIVE pounds!! I thought this was crazy. I guess she really is growing! Our Lady's heart rate was 153 and my belly measured at 30. I was excited they told me what they measured and what the heart rate was because they usually don't! My doctor said that depending on Lady's growth spurt the next few weeks I may get another ultrasound to check and see how big she is. I was very excited about this because I have only had the two ultrasounds- one from the first appointment and the other from the anatomy one. But, it also worried me a little because I do not want a big baby. I have never even considered myself to have a big baby! Both Paedn and I were just over 7lbs when we were born, which I consider average, and we still are thin people! How could two small people produce a big baby? It doesn't make sense in my head. As I was talking with my mom, I remembered my very first appointment. It wasn't scheduled until a month after we found out I was pregnant. By then I did several due date calculations and came to the conclusion that I was about 12 weeks at my first appointment and my due date was April 28. Wrong! They measured me at 10 weeks and pushed my due date back to May 04. I thought that was odd because of how my body had been behaving and how you calculate the due date from home, things like that. But, I went with it. Doctor knows best, right? Well, I am now convinced that I was right from the very beginning. Which means I am in my 29th week but just a few days shy of 30. 
I do not want to go full term. Is that horrible to say? I actually do not think my body will. For my mom, it was normal to deliver around 38 weeks, so that is the guideline I have for myself. Following the doctor's due date, if I did deliver at 38 weeks that would put me at the 20th of April (because of that I have been telling myself that I want to deliver on the 24th because that is my Grandpa Toone's birthday!) BUT, If we follow my gut instinct that I am slightly further along right now and am close to 30 weeks, that means I would want to deliver April 14! (This would be when Paedn is in Disneyland!!!) For some reason, the middle of April seems to feel more right than the beginning of May. Then again, I also thought that our first baby will be a boy, so we can see how accurate my thoughts can be!
In the end, I know it really does not matter. My body will know when the right time is and will go into labor as it seems fit. It is just exciting to think that there is a possibility of Lorelei coming sooner.


Is it too soon to ask if anyone has any thoughts on when Lorelei's birth date will be??


Everything else is going great. Lorelei has been extremely active this past week. She is a tease though. Every time I would lift my shirt to see if I could see her move around, she would stop. Same thing when Paedn would put his hand on my tummy to feel her, she stopped moving. Then, after we gave up, she would get right back to rolling around and kicking. I have already notice a change though and know she will not be as active in the upcoming week. She is definitely getting bigger. Not only is my tummy growing, I feel more weighed down as well. Sleeping is becoming more difficult. I am always hot and uncomfortable. Several weeks ago, Paedn put a memory foam pad on top of our mattress and that has helped a bit. I sleep with four pillows and am trying to find ways to support my body for a more comfortable sleep. I have noticed that I like napping on the couch because of the back support and helps me not roll onto my back to sleep. I definitely can no longer sleep partly on my stomach like I was a few weeks ago, so I do not have to worry about that!
Oddly enough, sometimes I forget I am pregnant. I have jumped into bed and went to go lay on my stomach with my chin propped in my hands and quickly realized that is very uncomfortable. At volleyball, I went down to pick up a ball, without bending my knees, and almost toppled over because my belly hit my legs first! Last night, we went out to dinner and I tried to squeeze behind the table to sit down and hit my belly right on the corner of the table. That one hurt for a while! My skin is very sensitive, especially around my belly button. I have always had a shallow belly button and said it was a "half in-y half out-y" and this is still true. It is starting to poke out on just one side. It makes me laugh! On Sunday, I actually had to wear a band-aid over it to help hide it from poking through my dress.


The third trimester is definitely here. I am slowing down and do no have the energy I had just a few weeks ago. I am both very excited and nervous thinking about how soon our Lady will be here. There is so much to do and get still! It is exhausting just thinking about it. I watch my friends announce that their baby's have arrived and know that my time is soon approaching.